Lost Media Archive

ISMN: “Valley of the Dragons” (1961) - Thursday Nov. 29th @ Hot Dog King in Orem

DVD/82 Mins/B&W/Unrated

Seems like ISMN can’t get enough of cheap campy cave-woman dinosaur films. I mean it feels like we’ve shown at least one during each movie alphabet.  This ultra odd and hilarious pick is another personal fave :) and clocks in as this Fall’s “V” film.

You will recognize some of the much borrowed footage from 1940’s “One Million BC” , much of which you may also remember being featured in ISMN film “King Dinosaur.”

Many other film elements were borrowed as well.
Whoah, Nelson …there’s a reason I’m showing this film after “The Time Machine”.  Dig those crasy re-worked Morlock costumes :) (Above)

Ahhh! It’s the giant spider from “World Without End!”  This scene was also mimicked in “Queen of Outer Space” and makes me want to watch the spider scenes again from “Cat-Women of the Moon” and my favorite spider puppet in “Missile to the Moon”.  It never gets old :)

And hey, is that Rodan?!?  What the heck is he doing here?

Watch out for those giant armadillos…

We also get treated to a giant badger biting a snake for a minute or two.  

(Above: There’s a reason boys love the cave women films and why there’s so many of them.)

I wonder how the infamous swimming scene will fly this week at the restaurant …the camera just seems to love following that bikini that looks like it’s going to fall off.  I can’t believe this scene passed in a staple kiddie matinee film!  Come and see how the audience @ HK responds.  Should be interesting …

Anyway here’s the brief plot from IMDB:
Algeria 1881. Two men, Michael Denning and Hector Servadac are having a duel with one another when a comet goes past the earth at low altitude. The strong wind this creates transports the two men to the moon. They find themselves in a jungle inhabited by reptiles and prehistoric humans. They have a difficult time before they manage to adapt to the dangers, but eventually they each find a girl to spend time with, awaiting the next return of the comet to take them back to Earth. Written by Mattias Thuresson

Long time, no see, 30 June 2004
Author: moondragon85501 from United States

This movie was on fairly regularly when I was a kid; my cousin and I would frequently watch it together (she didn’t share my enthusiasm for the animal skin-clad women, but she loved a scene where one of the cavemen gets eaten by a dragon).

It was years later that I saw One Million B.C. for the first time; I knew it was hailed as a classic, but while I found it enjoyable (I fell in love with Carole Landis), VOTD still held more of a mystique for me.

I have since looked for it in various video rental places with no success. It seems that these days even the networks aim for more sophisticated fare and overlook simpler joys like this. Just because the movies have graduated to Jurassic Park shouldn’t mean that we can’t suspend our disbelief for a brief period. VOTD should not be allowed to become extinct!

Stock footage, but why care?, 24 June 2012

Author: mark.waltz from New York City

This film is so entertaining from the moment it starts that finding out through research that some of the footage was from “One Million B.C.”, it didn’t diminish the impact of the film for me. I was going to call my review “The Night of the Big Iguana”, but I wanted to instill the point of view that having seen “One Million B.C.” and this at different points in my life, I didn’t even notice the difference. Only one thing in the film made me roll my eyes, and that was the silly looking underground people. But there was nothing else to laugh at, even after the premise of a comet leaving the two men about to duel all alone (as the others are whiffed away in some sort of Event Horizon) and come out of it as friendly as the Geiko gecko.

(Editor’s note: I dig those crazy diamond eyed underground people.  “Nothing else to laugh at???”)

I remember this film from childhood, seeing the coming attractions at the local theater for what seemed like months before it finally came. I realy loved this dino-drama at age 6 and have been searching for it on DVD for years. Unique “comet sweeps up two dualing men” plot, with old stock footage of iguanas playing dinosaurs from “One Million Years B.C”. Sentimental value only, but worth the price to me. An added bonus: Joan Staley from “The Ghost and Mr. Chicken” looks much hotter here than in that Don Knotts classic, something I didn’t notice back then.

Editor again:  I for one only watched this film for the first time this year online, and was able to track down a copy due to it finally being made available by on-demand Columbia DVD-R.  I find it highly odd and enjoyable, if you crave this sort of thing.  Which I do :)

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Bonus Short Film: “Am I Trustworthy?”

DVD-R/11 Mins/Unrated

Ok Ok, I forgot to show it last time, so here’s my second chance :) Gee whiz!

Another Coronet classic :)
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Time: Thursday Nov. 29th @ 7 PM

Place: Charlie’s “Hot Dog King” on State street in Orem, near the Provo border - up from the D.I. and next to that weird Army Surplus Dome.

Price: Free!  Popcorn provided.  Buying dinner is optional - but by buying on this night you get free drinks :)

See ya there!

H.R. Swelch

PS. Yes, sometime in the future I’ll show “The Wild Women of Wongo”.  I like it too.  …I’ll get to it someday.  (If you’re the one person who requested it and is reading this.)

ISMN: K. Gordon Murray’s “Little Red Riding Hood” (1963) - Thursday Sept. 13th, 7:30 PM @ the Art City Mansion

                                                 

aka: “La caperucita roja” (1960- The English version was released in 1963)

DVD/Dubbed/Color/85 Mins/Not Rated

Been waiting a LOOOONNNNGGGG time to show this one :)  High camp weirdness, with special effects and amazing costumes that look like they came from a dumpy run down Chucky Cheese.  Of all the Mexcian Red Riding Hood films, the original is still our favorite! - LMA

IMDB Review:

An inept hilarious film that even children won’t like!, 8 July 1999

Author: Casey-52 from DVD Drive-In

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was available at a film convention I went to and out of curiosity, I bought it. It was the funniest thing I had seen in years! Not intentionally funny, mind you, but funny! The little girl is so obnoxious, everyone loves her, the perfect little girl. You just wanna ring her neck! The wolf is a man in a raggedy old HIDEOUS suit that stalks around “menacingly” with his sidekick, a skunk (a man in a HIDEOUS skunk suit!). When Little Red sings, her voice is that of an adult opera singer! With a giant spider who’s “angry”, the wolf’s cave that looks like a giant jack o’ lantern, and a bunch of comedy relief that isn’t comedy and certainly isn’t relief for the atrocity of this thing! Get this movie now!

Another IMDB Review:

ooh, 28 April 2007

Author: islandsnvrcry from Nazareth, PA United States

this movie is basically flawless. as a CHILD, i watched the English version and was enthralled by it, and at the same time very creeped out by the incredibly and shockingly sexual predator/stalker character of the Wolf. Anyone who has seen this film as a child can tell you it is an emotional roller coaster on multiple levels. The music, the rustic scenery in “half color”, and the emotions just take you to another world; an outsider who is just waiting to see the protagonist come to an end, with the evil being so pungent and in our face, with you completely unable to do anything about it. You constantly fear for riding hood and the villagers because you know what is coming for them. its very shakespearan.

                     

As an ADULT, the movie is the most hilarious thing you will perhaps ever see in you’re life, for various reasons, primarily the corniness and high levels of non realism. It is worthe minutes upon minutes of laughter. However, It is also possible to take the film very seriously; just note the above mentioned characteristics of the wolf. Strong other gender and age related issues are also prevalent throughout the film; its a matter of viewing it as styalistic.

       
 
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Bonus Short Film:

Kiddieland (1940)

DVD/Color/Not Rated

                          

Something Weird Video Review:
Kiddieland (1940, color): Kiddieland is like a David Lynch version of Disneyland, only smaller. Two young children are escorted around by a dodgy looking old geezer with a hat and snake skin boots. They ride boats, a mini-railroad, and horses too! At times reminiscent of someone’s home movies, at least this film’s narrator doesn’t badger us with unimportant details. Scary says: “See kiddies, isn’t this fun?”

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Time: Thursday Sept. 13th @ 7:30 PM

Place: The Art City Mansion, Springville (email me for directions bcsterrett@gmail.com)

Tickets and Parking: Free of course!

See you there kiddies,

BC

                    

ISMN: “Journey to the Begining of Time” (1954) -Wednesday, Aug. 22nd 8:30 PM in Midvale

DVDR/Color/Dubbed/93 Mins/Not Rated

From the director of Baron Prasil, comes this often forgotten kiddie matinee classic.

(aka Cesta do praveku)

“Journey to the Beginning of Time was one of the most successful Week-end Matinee Theatrical Features of all time.

More than just an adventure, Journey is an educational film, reviewed by, and even shown at, The Museum of Natural History (where the story begins and ends).” -http://www.animatoons.com

                   

IMDB Review:
A movie to excite your imagination, 21 May 2005
Author: pachl from Illinois

“The irony of movie-making is that the supposedly “amazing” modern special effects often seem to rob movies of their potential charm. By trying to dazzle us with all their computer magic, too many contemporary films fail to stir our imaginations. It is like comparing prose with poetry. When special effects were more primitive, they had to be a bit more “poetic” and less literal in their presentations. The result was that these older movies stirred our imaginations better than many current ones.

                                    
This little gem of a movie is proof that limitations inspire creativity, and that the inability to graphically show anything you conceive forces the filmmaker to be more resourceful and clever with his choice of material. Nowadays, many people seem to be bored, rather than dazzled, with the flawless special effects that dominate some movies.

“Journey to the Beginning of Time” makes great use of the somewhat modest visual tools they had to work with at the time. Just as a novel like Ray Bradbury’s “The Martian Chronicles” is a pleasure to read, “Journey to the Beginning of Time” is great fun, and something you’ll always fondly remember.

       

I originally watched this movie in short segments on the “Garfield Goose” TV show (mid 1960s). Each week, I could hardly wait to see another of these brief episodes. Since TV back then had poorer screen resolution, and reception was often a bit grainy, I never noticed that the actors’ mouths were out of synch with the dialogue. Only after looking up this movie on the IMDb.com website did I discover that this movie was not American. It was produced in Czechoslovakia in 1955.

       

This movie has so much warmth and charm that it overcomes the technical limitations of the day. I just purchased a copy of this movie, and will surely watch it over and over.”

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Bonus short: The Toy Telephone Truck

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Time: Wednesday, Aug. 22nd  8:30 PM

Place: Address has now been removed upon request.  Thanks for coming :)

ISMN: “At the End of the Rainbow” (1965)-Tonight 9:30 pm @ Brewvies 677 S. 200 W. SLC

Not available on NetFlix #28

This film is a celebration of many, many things: The end of our “Not Available on NetFlix” alphabet, St. Patrick’s Day, the bizarre often unexplored world of vintage independent kiddie matinee films, and …my birthday!

This week’s feature:

“At the End of the Rainbow” (1965)
aka “The Princess and the Magic Frog”
DVDR/80 Mins/Color/Not Rated

I’ve said it before and don’t mind repeating: The world of Kiddie Matinee is some of the most unexplored territory for fans of the Incredibly Strange and Cult movies.  Which is a good or a bad thing, depending on where you stand.

I may not be into smut/nudie cuties/vintage porn/excessive gore but bless Something Weird Video for unearthing such obscurities as “The Princess and the Magic Frog”.  I sat on this film for years, thinking it was probably a semi-interesting but mostly a boring curiosity.  BOY WAS I WRONG!  While previewing this film last year, I had a complete blast, and couldn’t wait to share it this St. Patrick’s season with all of you.

This film has absolutely (nearly) NOTHING in common with “The Princess and the Frog” fairy tale, many are familiar with.  Rather it’s a craptastic independent kiddie feature with boggles the mind with the odd creativity that takes place when you don’t have a budget.  If you’re a fan of the “so bad it’s good”, or “so bad it’s hilarious and charming”, etc.  Then this film is for you.

I love the microphone that you can see at the top of the screen during the desert genie scenes.  The wizard looks completely satanic! And talking posts and trees are a welcome addition to any film.  I can’t help but notice the magic words in this film are the same that are spoken in “The Magic Christmas Tree.”  This film also has a very similar feel.  If I had more time while typing this, I’d probably research the relation.

The following from kiddiematinee.com:

Plot Outline: Two kids play hooky from school and find a girl princess, a magic frog, a leprechaun, magic coins, talking trees, puppet people, an evil wizard, and eventually, a magic rainbow.

***

SYNOPSIS: On St. Patrick’s Day, Matthew O’Brien, a young boy, plays hooky from school by fishing at a nearby pond. He doesn’t catch any fish, but takes a little frog with him. On his way home, he gets lost in the woods, and stumbles upon a leprechaun, whose beard is caught in a log.

Matthew agrees to free the little man in exchange for his bag of golden magic coins. The leprechaun reluctantly agrees. Matthew tries the coins, but they don’t seem to work. The leprechaun explains that the magic coins will only work in service of others.

Matthew walks on, and encounters a strange sign post. Matthew tosses one of the magic coins, and the signpost suddenly comes to life and talks! It apologizes to Matthew for not being able to help the boy with his predicament.

Matthew walks into a forest of talking trees. The oldest tree tells Matthew to use a magic coin on his frog, to turn it back into the knight which he formerly was. The frog does, indeed, turn into a bumbling knight in shining armor, Sir Humphrey. The knight tells Matthew of the terrible wizard, and how he was turned into the frog. He then gathers a picnic basket of food for Matthew, from a “picnic basket bush!”

As Matthew eats, Sir Humphrey tells the sad story of how he was turned into a frog after trying to rescue the good Princess Cecilia from the evil Wizard. Just as he finishes the story, the Wizard materializes out of a puff of smoke! The wizard casts a spell, makes Matthew and Sir Humphrey disappear, and turns day into night!

Read this full review @ http://www.kiddiematinee.com/p-pmfrog.html

The following review is from Something Weird Video:

Oh, dear Lord, forgive me for I have seen the face of Satan and he is called The Princess and the Magic Frog…Yes, boys and girls, here’s another mind-boggling children’s film, straight from the mid-Sixties, when Americans would dump their youth at the local theater’s “Kiddie Matinee” and subject the poor tots to all manner of cinematic torture. Such as The Princess and the Magic Frog, a long-unseen rarity that’s so hilariously impoverished, it makes Jimmy the Boy Wonder look like a multi-million dollar work of art.

After finding a frog and stuffing it in his pocket, little Matthew O’Brien takes a shortcut through some seemingly ordinary woods, gets lost, and stumbles upon a leprechaun whose long fake beard is caught in a log (even though this doesn’t seem to be taking place in Ireland). Greedy little brat that he is, Matt agrees to free the creepy little guy in exchange for seven magic coins. Coin Number 1 makes a wooden road sign talk and… well, flap its wood. Coin Number 2 turns the frog in his pocket into Sir Humphrey, an old coot in shiny armor who dances and sings like a goddamn sissy. But an evil wizard (whose pyrotechnic puff of smoke unintentionally starts a small fire!), a gypsy girls who’s really a princess, and those last magic coins…

Gnooonngg, gnooonngg, gnooonngg…Have we snapped yet?

There’s more that a whiff of Wizard of Oz wafting through The Princess and the Magic Frog, from the child who can’t find his way home, to the Wicked Witch, er…Wizard, to the search for the end of the rainbow summed up with the closing line, “You’ve found the end of the rainbow right in your own back yard!” In fact, this was apparently shot as At the End of the Rainbow with that title intact for the final credits. (While The Princess and the Magic Frog certainly sounds more like a children’s film, the story has very little to do with either the princess or the frog.)

And while the plot is about a boy who learns to help others, there’s also a rather perverse endorsement for corporal punishment. Early on, Matt complains about his parent always “walloping” him. So much so that the wants to run away. Later, Matt and Sir Humphrey share this odd exchange: “Mothers and fathers do love their children, don’t they?” “Why or course they do!” “Even when the wallop ‘em when they’re bad?” “The when the love ‘em most! If they didn’t care about them, they wouldn’t correct them!” “If that’s true, my mother and father love me a whole lot!” Yes, boys and girls, be happy when you get beaten!

From a 35mm print with music by Billy Allen, better known to us as WILLIAM ALLEN CASTLEMAN, director of Bummer and Johnny Firecloud! —Dribblejuice

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Bonus Short Films:

Preview Clip of Next Month’s ISMN film at Brewvies

+

a music video recap of “Creating Rem Lezar”

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Time: 9:30 PM

Place: Brewvies Cinema and Pub, 677 S. 200 W. SLC, UT

Price: FREE!

Age: Although I am showing bizarro “Rated G” type films, this venue is still 21 and up.

See you there!

-B.C. Sterrett

ISMN: “Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang” (1978) - Thursday Sept. 8th @ 8:30 PM

This week’s feature:

Not available on Netflix exhibit #9

Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang (1978)

DVDR/83 Mins/Rated G

This film has been in the ISMN waiting list for several years now!  From the same Canucks that brought you strange childhood nightmare inducing films like “The Peanut Butter Solution” comes a kiddie matinee that’s dare I say, even more bizarre?

Jacob always says things twice because he feels that no one listens to him the first time.  This bad habit gets him into trouble with adults and sends him into a cerebral Sid and Marty Kroftish world of a child’s prison run by a fanged wrestler, a fish man, slime monsters and a chicken woman?  All the while strange ballads are sung over the film by what sounds like Neil Diamond’s little brother trying to write songs by Cat Stevens.
 

Got it? The other children in prison are colored blue because they haven’t seen the sun in a dog’s age.  Being guilty of saying things twice, Jacob does his time and starts to turn blue himself.  Meanwhile, two superhero kids who call themselves “Child Power!” who are trying to catch the adults in child cruelty, make Jacob their spy.  All Jacob wants is two quarts of chocolate ice cream!

 

There have been several other film versions made of this story based on the classic Canadian children’s book, but they can’t be half as hip as the Montreal 1978 version.

(Above: Various covers of the children’s book and the 1999 remake?)

Don’t miss your chance to see this imaginative oddball classic :)

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Bonus Short Film:

“Unicorn Tales: The Magnificent Mayor” (1978)
VHS/20 Mins?/Not Rated 

Also not available on netflix, this week’s short film isn’t even listed on IMDB!  I couldn’t even find photo stills on the internet except this picture above taken from ebay.  I wish you could see how extravagantly weird this production is.

Unicorn Tales was a 70’s miniseries of bizarro short stories loosely based on famous child fantasy and fairy tales, and I can’t help but bring back the episode “The Magnificent Mayor” once again since it reminds me so much of this week’s feature film.  Just as bizarre, and even filmed the exact same year!

When you see it, you may even say that this was the United States’ answer to “Jacob Two-Two Meets the Hooded Fang.”  

A young girl in elementary school thinks books are bogus, and accidentally flings herself into a future where books are banned.  She runs into robots, a wizard and lots of odd characters.  In court she actually ends up defending books and blasts out song lyrics like “It’s only a book! Who’s afraid of paper and glue?!”.

This over the top bizarro short film should be on everyone’s favorite retro kiddie cult classic list.  Did I mention that it begins with a personal introduction by Isaac Asimov and his giant side burns?!  Now you know.

(Shown once before at ISMN and discovered in the archive by Christina Thomas.  I found both volumes of this a long time ago at the D.I.  Don’t pass it up should you see another copy at the thrift store :)

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Time: Thursday Sept. 8th @ 8:30 PM

Place: on the back deck of 986 N 900 E, Chatham Town #40, Provo UT

Parking: Please only park across the street at the BYU ROTC on 900 E.  Anywhere else you will get towed!

Lawn chairs encouraged :)  Friends and popcorn welcome.

See you there!

BC Sterrett

ISMN: Alakazam the Great (1960) - Thursday Nov. 4th @ 7:30 PM

Please take note of the location change this week!  ISMN is now back @ Chatham Town #33.

This week’s feature:

Alakazam the Great (1960)
aka “Saiyu-ki”

VHS/84 Mins/Color/Unrated

I’m kind of sick, so I’m going try and keep this review short.  I first discovered this film while studying animation in California around 1999 and at night would go out and rent obscure animated videos in my spare time. Alakazam was definitely one of the best finds!

Originally named “Saiyu-ki”, this was one of the first Japanese animated films to cross over to the United States for a mainstream audience.  The dubbed version features the voices of Sterling Holloway, Frankie Avalon, and Peter Fernandez (The voice of Speed Racer). 

The most standout western feature of all being the soundtrack by Les Baxter (composer of the 60’s hit “Quiet Village” and score artist behind past ISMN Roger Corman features like “Fall of the House of Usher” and “X-The Man with X-Ray Eyes”).

I actually found the vinyl American soundtrack once while visiting Japan!

If you haven’t seen early anime, it doesn’t look or feel like anything out today.  The art is very round,fluid, and very exaggerated in it’s movement - influenced by the features of Disney and other American animation of the period.

And, like many other Japanese cartoons brought to the United States, names and places in the films have been changed, not to confuse the American children with their own culture and religion etc. (My theory).  Therefore instead of this film taking place in China, it’s the land of “Medusa” or something like that.  Even Buddha’s name has been changed to “King Amode”.

Regardless, the English version is actually very endearing and fun.  With everyone’s favorite lines like Alakazam’s battle against “Jerkules”.

Come see one of the greatest often forgotten animated foreign features of all time!

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Bonus Short Film: Atom Ant - Crankenshaft’s Monster

VHS/Around 7 Mins/Not Rated

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Time: Thursday Nov. 4th @ 7:30 PM
Place: Chatham Town #33, 986 N 900 E
Parking is available @ the BYU ROTC parking lot across the street.  Park there unless you want to get booted or towed.

Friends and Treats Welcome!

See you there,

BC (LMA Director)

PS. The new ISMN lineup looks fantastic this season.  Expect a LOT of foreign and bizarre kiddie films this time around :)